Regrets, well all got them, don't we? Some more than others. Things we did or didn't do, words we said or didn't say, people we should 've spend more time with, promises we should 've kept, things we shouldn't 've forgotten, so on and so forth. If only we could go back and do it all over again, how differently we would craft things. Oh my!
I 've many regrets, enough to write an epic poem. But the ones that burdens me the most are not living up to the expectations of my parents. Now, I did not use the phrase 'expectations of my parents' in a negative way. I do realize that now a days that phrase has come to evoke a negative connotation. As we are all fleeing farther and faster than our feeble legs could take us cos we are afraid of ending up looking like our parents. We are all so concerned about 'living life on our own terms' or something like that, and so the phrase 'expectations of our parents' have a negative connotation. But no, not for me, not now anyway, not in this post. Here I regret my incapability to fulfill my parents' expectations.
Their expectations weren't big, mind you, all they wanted was the normal good life for me. All they had were small dreams, but I didn't care. If they wanted me to go north I always wanted to go everywhere but north. Not because I hated north, oh no, but because it is what they wanted. Cos if I do that then how can I be 'living life on my own terms'? Yea, that was the thing. In my struggle, in my fleeing, I failed to realize that they had changed their own paths and were running behind me in order to support me. Their dreams, their life, their plans, all took a back seat because they were willing to go the distance for me. They were willing to do things to help me reach my goals, to make me happy. How can I ever repay them, how can I ever thank them enough! Yet they are not asking for anything.
Why weren't my dreams aligned with theirs? Why didn't 'living life on my own terms' include them? After all I did on my own, am I really happy that I did 'em on my own terms? If I am then how come I 've regrets? Tomorrow morning, when I am sober again, I will be the same insensitive prick that I was before, the guy who is 'living life on his own terms'. But now, when am drunk, when my ego is not casting shadow on me, let me just say, Mom, Dad, am sorry.
I 've many regrets, enough to write an epic poem. But the ones that burdens me the most are not living up to the expectations of my parents. Now, I did not use the phrase 'expectations of my parents' in a negative way. I do realize that now a days that phrase has come to evoke a negative connotation. As we are all fleeing farther and faster than our feeble legs could take us cos we are afraid of ending up looking like our parents. We are all so concerned about 'living life on our own terms' or something like that, and so the phrase 'expectations of our parents' have a negative connotation. But no, not for me, not now anyway, not in this post. Here I regret my incapability to fulfill my parents' expectations.
Their expectations weren't big, mind you, all they wanted was the normal good life for me. All they had were small dreams, but I didn't care. If they wanted me to go north I always wanted to go everywhere but north. Not because I hated north, oh no, but because it is what they wanted. Cos if I do that then how can I be 'living life on my own terms'? Yea, that was the thing. In my struggle, in my fleeing, I failed to realize that they had changed their own paths and were running behind me in order to support me. Their dreams, their life, their plans, all took a back seat because they were willing to go the distance for me. They were willing to do things to help me reach my goals, to make me happy. How can I ever repay them, how can I ever thank them enough! Yet they are not asking for anything.
Why weren't my dreams aligned with theirs? Why didn't 'living life on my own terms' include them? After all I did on my own, am I really happy that I did 'em on my own terms? If I am then how come I 've regrets? Tomorrow morning, when I am sober again, I will be the same insensitive prick that I was before, the guy who is 'living life on his own terms'. But now, when am drunk, when my ego is not casting shadow on me, let me just say, Mom, Dad, am sorry.
